Micro-spamming backlash

I’m pretty open about accepting friends on Facebook (unless your avatar is Marilyn Manson-esque…just kinda freaks me out.) But, as everyone is complaining these days, junk mail has made it into the real-time web. Generic product-driven replies when adding Twitter friends, “Become a fan of this page” suggestions, as if the value of micromedia wasn’t already under attack.

Could someone please provide a short, concise example of how Twitter is useful to anyone other than teenagers and uber-bloggers? I fail to see how this is even remotely useful to the rest of the world. — TechCrunchIT

My policy if I don’t know someone but they want to be my friend on Facebook? I send them a message first which asks them NOT to spam me. Most people say, sure I won’t. Some tell me they have automatic announcements, so they would remove me if I would like. Candace Breen did this, who has a great radio show for women. I asked her to remove me though, because I can take only so much feminism. I overdosed on it growing up in Marin County. In anycase, she politely removed me. Not true for everyone. Today, I inadvertently offended someone with my method.

I said:

I will add you as a friend, but
Between [name deleted] and You

Do NOT spam me with page fans or game invites, etc.


Facebook spamand she replied:

[name withheld] September 25 at 11:22am Report
Hello Lisa,
I’m not into spamming nor time for games, I leave games to the kids,
I have a team of professional people with many talents that bring some sort of value to the table and leave it up to others if they want to network togather or ask questions of others about what they do or if it can help them in their journey.

You have offended me with your statement I don’t need a fb friend that bad or need the negativity in my circle.

I will be blocking you from the team and I would want you to block my name from your list as well.

Have A Fantastic Weekend.

[name deleted]

Ouch. Sigh. Well, what do you think? How do I expand my network without offending someone?

4 Replies to “Micro-spamming backlash”

  1. Lisa;

    The way you explained this whole situation (which couldn’t have been any clearer or concise), I think she took your request a little to personally! I think you were complete within your rights to ask & your request was quite reasonable, especially in this day & age of micro-spaming! I still remember when you asked the same of me when I befriended you, and I totally respect you for it!

    Actually, a little embarassing, tho I do not play any of the games available on Facebook, I did take a stab at creating ‘a cause’ that I support & was asking friends to donate to ‘in lieu of’ a birthday gift, and likewise got the same response (ie: please do not spam me), and I have subsequently removed them from future FB mailings for that cause.

    As with anything in life, sometimes all you need to do is ask…the worst one can say is ‘no’! But to respond like that person did.. wow.. talk about taking it personally! Probably better off not being befriended! :-p

    – Dave

    1. Dave,Thanks for your comment. Who am I to crush a cause!? Furthermore, I really appreciate when my real friends or acquaintances send me presents (or, even game invites….though it better be a good game.) The difference has to do with etiquette. And the line people cross is the opt-out. If you are a crazy game playin’, viral application spreading, chain emailer type of person — I don’t mind. I am building software and web sites for you night and day, it’s my job, I love it. There is a law for this and I’ve been doing, among other things, email marketing for many years. (See the rules here.) Soon these will extend in some form to the social networks. I have to read it, because I usually don’t read the Terms of Service for social networks or micromedia services. They probably have a line or two in them which says that you agree to allow people you accept as friends to spam the snot out of you, banking on the fact that this annoyance won’t be enough to make you leave the service. Basically, if you tell me you don’t want my product or service and you say so, you won’t hear from me. Getting mad about the consumers decision is one’s own choice. I tend not to be offended at the preferences other people have. I suspect she had a bad day. Happens to all of us. I don’t take it personally.

      Around the mass of Facebook is a halo forming. Social networking has become so popular, and been brought to the enterprise as well, so we’re all trying to find ways to improve that over-engineered beast with ancillary services. Not just Facebook. Any community to which people belong. The numbers of combination of usernames and passwords to remember. (Did I mention I am first in line for the first brain memory chip?) You can find these services, like FriendFeed, Brizzly (personal favorite right now), or Threadsy…and know that people will improve on those too!

  2. I deleted the name to protect her identity, and she blocked me from seeing her profile or sending her messages. But if she reads this:

    I’m sorry I offended you. I hope I’ve explained sufficiently why I do this (and will continue to.) People who know me also know that negativity is far from something you would describe me as. I’m well known for a giant smile I can’t even control!

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